#1 Clue You’re An Addict – Symptoms of Addiction
Kris Krohn here with limitless TV, and so excited for our topic today. We’re talking about symptoms of addiction and I’ve got on house, resident expert, Wylene Benson mentoring with us today. Thanks for letting me join you, Kris. Awesome. Excited to hear what she has for us and I’ve saved a special bonus question at the very end that I think you’re gonna want to wait and watch out for. What a treat we have today and, Wylene, I’m so excited because what you do with warrior camp, how you take men and women and work with them to help them overcome addiction, it’s powerful because we’ve got this one life to live and if we’re really getting distracted, that’s often what addiction is, that distraction can really take us out of the game fast and we’re wondering, “Why aren’t I getting the results I want?” or “Why aren’t I getting the raises?” or growing my family or having this or that, and it comes down to these addictions. Can you just start off with this concept of what really is an addiction? Kris, I appreciate you asking that because I think there’s really a misunderstanding about what addiction is. A lot of people look at the substance or the behavior and they consider that the addiction, but the way that I describe addiction is any compulsive behavior – that’s a really key part of it – if it’s a compulsive behavior that there’s a constantly going back to the same thing that also causes disconnect and specifically disconnect from God, from highest self, from relationships that you really want to be close, you know, people that you really super want to be close to. So disconnect with the closest things, the hobbies, the things that you love, if it’s a compulsive behavior and it’s causing that disconnect from those things that you love. I love that, I mean that’s really powerful. A disconnected compulsion. You know, it’s interesting that right now I’ve got a rule in my life which is stay off of Netflix and the reason why is because I can totally zone out and in binge on a favorite series and I’m not going to judge and say that that’s an addiction or bad but I actually do know when I cross a line and I’m doing it to the point where I’m choosing out of maybe family time or doing something productive or useful and I know that from my past I used to have a food addiction and then it was interesting that I would go to the store and I buy a whole bag of Reese’s and Klem would just watch me, in less than an hour down the entire bag. I mean, something that might sit in your shelf for like a month. And like a year and a half ago, I had a powerful experience where I actually banned Reese’s from my life and I’m just telling you right now, German chocolate or not there is no candy, there are no sweets if there are not Reese’s. And it totally changed everything because I don’t know what Reese’s, I don’t know what you are putting, I don’t know what addictive substance you’re putting in that peanut butter with those cups in that chocolate but, man! And when I would down it, I would often really kind of zone out, I wasn’t connecting, I wasn’t really being super social, there’s nothing in and of itself wrong with Reese’s just like in and of itself there’s not necessarily something wrong with binging but for me, at a point, there is. And so I want to actually maybe take that to the next level or I want to share with you maybe where you are getting disconnected on that particular thing. So maybe it’s not so much that you’re disconnecting from other people, you’re over here hiding and downing your Reese’s, you know, so you’re not connecting with people But is that kind of behavior connecting with your highest and best self? Like this amazing body that we’ve been given and what it’s capable of, is that kind of what you’re putting in your body, is that helping it to be the highest and best that it can be? Well, that was the weird part, as I would blink and then I’d see 25 rappers and it would be like, did I just slip through time? What happened? I didn’t really do all that and it was just, it was unconscious and it wasn’t in a positive way. It wasn’t building me. It actually didn’t feel good, I actually would feel sick after eating all that, so I knew that it wasn’t good for me. I want to share one other thing that what you just said about, “Wow did I just, you know, did time warp or whatever there’s these 25 rappers.” There’s also a bit of an escape that happens with an addiction and so what I want to share with you on that is that the point or the trigger that takes someone to an addiction is usually some sort of fight-or-flight response. There’s something that happened, somebody said something that I’ve under stress, you know, whatever it is that in my world looks like “I’m gonna die if I don’t get this taken care of” And so we’re in this fight-or-flight response and so when we get to a point of, we’re not fighting anymore, we’ve made the decision that I’m giving in to this addiction, then the only other option is to flight, to escape and so the addiction takes us to some sort of an escape. – It’s really quite survival mode, isn’t it? Reptilian part of the brain that says, “Hey caveman, there’s a saber-toothed tiger in the bush and I gotta learn to run” And it’s amazing how a lot of that energy is still inside of us today so that’s actually a really really good clue when we’re talking about symptoms of addiction, that if someone has a compulsion that creates disconnect or shows up in the way of hiding or running or fleeing or escaping, that’s how you might know that you might be suffering from an addiction. I wanted it I wanted to ask you – I just want to add one more little piece about that caveman mentality because in cavemen times, if you were rejected from the tribe, if you did something that, you know, was counter to what the tribe was okay, there if you got rejected and you had to live on your own, there was a very high likelihood that you would not survive and so that survival mode would definitely kick in and like it or not we still a lot of times operate under that mentality, that if I’m rejected, if I’m ugly, if I’m fat, if I’m you know, not seen as the most social person or whatever, if I’m shy, whatever it is then there’s some form of rejection, perceived rejection that might happen and I could die if I’m rejected from my might tribe – And it’s and it’s also like there’s a downward spiral with that one because depression can become a part of that addiction process, convincing yourself with your limiting beliefs that you’re not seeing or that you’re not accepted or that you’re alone, you know, or that you can’t be with people, that people don’t like you or that you’re not special or that God doesn’t love you or that there’s something wrong with you, and all of those ideas right there. I’ve noticed that with addiction some of the symptoms are a lot of limiting beliefs and what they do is, if I gain ten pounds with my addiction, if it’s weight related, then just let a passage of time happen with this addiction and ten pounds can turn into a hundred pounds, right? And so addictions over time, they produce worse and worse results. Very much maybe like a substance abuse or a heroin addict, you know, ultimately could eventually die from that experience. One of the saddest moments of my life was being in in Germany on a 2-year Christian mission and then I met a lady in the park who was crying and she had her child in a stroller and I said, “What was wrong?” And she told me, you know, she had been, she had been using heroin and just a few days earlier her husband had passed away because she was high and then she missed the injection dosage or whatever and accidentally killed him and it’s just interesting that that’s an extreme example, but addiction with time usually doesn’t yield the same results but it seems that often it can make our life’s worse. I mean you look at meth addicts over time and they get more gone and more thin and more unhealthy. And so it’s an important conversation. How do you know if someone really has an addiction? When some of these symptoms that we’ve just talked about, the disconnect, that’s probably one of the biggest clues. I know with my own kids, that’s the one thing if they’re not talking to me, if they’re not connecting to me, if I’m not noticing that they’re wanting to be around the family or whatever, I know there’s something wrong and maybe it’s not an addiction, maybe just something was said and they just want to hide in their room for a little bit and that’s okay. But those would be, that would be one of the clues, is if there is that disconnect. You know there’s a lot of judgment I think, on this whole concept of addiction, right? There’s a lot of people that feel like outcasts or that they’re broken or that they’ve done something wrong. How do you support someone that may be having an addiction? What if it’s a loved one or a child or spouse? I would say that that connection is the biggest key. A lot of times with addiction comes shame. And not only, you know, with somebody feeling shame maybe because they are engaged in something that they don’t feel like they can control and that they’re getting, but then they’re also getting maybe some shame from outside, you know, they’re getting some sort of judgment or negative feedback or whatever because of what they’re doing and a lot of times that perpetuates the disconnect. There’s like, not safety, there’s no safety perceived in being able to, you know, go talk to somebody and actually expose, you know, what’s going on so that I can maybe get some help. So I would say that’s probably the number one thing, is to create a safe space that regardless, that unconditional love, that we talk about it limitless and that I feel like is so important, it’s just such a key for us having a really close and bonded family, society, tribe, you know, whatever creating that safe space. Beautiful. Well, this has been such helpful information really talking about the symptoms. You’ve been super direct and I really think spot-on with what that looks like. If it’s okay, I want to just throw a bonus question at you for our viewers, for someone that might be watching this and they might be watching this because they know someone has an addiction and they’re looking for symptoms and helping understand. But we might have someone here that themselves is, I think addiction is actually a part of all of our lives in some way, shape or form at some point, for those that might be watching this and thinking, “I actually think that I have an addiction of some type. It’s unhealthy and I’m hiding and maybe I want some help.” What advice would you give to them? The lowest vibration word that I know of is “shame”. The highest vibration I know is “gratitude” and so if there’s some way that you can find gratitude in whatever it is that you’re experiencing, rather than running away from it, rather than being afraid of it, that if you can look at it and say, “Well, I’m not living in cavemen times.” If, you know, if there’s some sort of rejection or if I’m, you know, if I open up and share with somebody, I’m not going to die. If you can get past that and actually open up and share with someone, but before, even before you do that, if you can find some gratitude in the situation that you’re in. I know it might be hard or difficult to do that but I promise you it’s there. There’s gratitude in every single circumstance and there’s also accountability and so if you can find some accountability in what you possibly did to create the situation and then find gratitude and then the next thing is to reach out. Connect with somebody that you feel like you can trust and that can create that safe space for you and if you don’t know anybody then come to limitless because we got a whole tribe of people that are full of unconditional love. – I just got to echo how important that is, is that if you feel alone in any way, shape or form in your life and you feel disconnected, and you don’t even necessarily know how to connect very productively with those around you, then come to our Limitless event. You’re going to find an entire tribe, a massive tribe of thousands of people that regularly come together on a monthly basis to see you for who you truly are, to see the greatness that is inside of you and to show you how to reconnect productively with us, with yourself, so you can find the help that you’re looking for. Wow! A lot of useful information and honestly, a lot of things that I didn’t know but so helpful. Wylene, thank you for taking the time to come on over today and to be a part of today’s video and teach us from your wealth of knowledge. I know you’ve been able to help countless individuals now with this information and I totally want to invite you to subscribe, you’re going to see more of Wylene on our channel. She’s got her Channel and then for sure come out to Limitless, click the link below and have an experience to see what it really looks like for society to get together on terms where we are at our max productivity and max ability to see each other in joy and celebrate the differences that we all have and share.